Happy Tuesday everyone! As I’m typing this, I’m not even sure where I should begin. I suppose I can start talking about the weather. That’s always an easy lead-into discussion starter. And, I think we all would agree the weather has been relatively mild. I know I’m not complaining about the winter we have had nor will I complain about the above average temps we’re expecting. This warm weather really makes me itch to get out and start shooting again. So, I guess this leads me into my confession and the reason for this blog post.
I just recently looked at my “google analytics” for my website and I hang my head in shame. For those that may not know, Google Analytics is a tool for business owners with websites that will show you just how much traffic your website is getting. It does so much more than that but rather than get into all the “techy” stuff, I’ll leave it at that. My numbers have dramatically dropped over the winter and really, there is no one to blame but myself. My Facebook page has very few “talking about this” and again, I have no one to blame but myself. It makes me rather disappointed in myself that I allowed this to happen.
So you may be wondering…”well, what does this have to do with me; the reader, the potential client, the previous client?” Everything. Why? Because I’ve let you down. I’ve failed to provide you with information to arm yourself in ways to find a photographer, recipes that are quick and easy to prepare for your family because you work hard and have little time as it is in your day, or tips on preparing your wedding. Information that could potentially make your life easier, I have not shared. And I know things. I know what to look for when you’re looking for a photographer that can make you feel good about yourself because you see yourself in a way you’ve never seen yourself before. I know quick and easy recipes because these types of recipes are what I prepare because, I too am a busy mom. I know tips on preparing for your wedding because I have a whole welcome packet designed to do so to give my clients. I also have this same information for portraits. I’m a wealth of knowledge but have been holding back. I’ve been sitting on the fence.
I’ve been in business going on three years and for the first time, this winter, I had to take a step back and really figure out where I want my business to go and look at how far I’ve come. I have realized, through reading several books over the winter that I am a “perfectionist procrastinator.” I finally have a name to what I’ve been feeling. I sit on the fence for things that I am afraid to let go of in fear that it won’t be perfect. I cannot tell you how long I have sat on my welcome packets. I’m ashamed to even admit it. But I go back and review and tweak, and review some more, so much so it’s driven me bonkers! I’ve had to move onto something else and come back to it. So I go crochet a hat or two, read a book, network with photographer’s, then give it another go. This has been the running theme this winter with several projects I’ve been working on…why? Because I have this thought in my head that if it’s “just perfect” then it will save me time later, or that I won’t run into issues down the road. Furthermore, I fear if someone sees a flaw and as a result will think poorly of me. Also, the feeling of overwhelm has taken over many times when I think about all the things I’ve put on my plate in order to make my business better. However, I have attempted to do all these things at the same time. When all the while, the fact is that because I just can’t accept that “good enough” is really enough, than I will always be my own worst enemy. That is hard realization to swallow. I have only been holding myself back all this time.
I had a discussion over this past weekend with a 21-year-old woman and I found myself telling her things that no one ever told me when I was her age. It turned into this motivational speech of sorts and she probably thought I had fallen off my rocker given the circumstances. However, I somehow find it easier to encourage and give others advice than it is to listen to the six inches between my own ears. It has been an eye-opening winter for me. A winter of reflection of sorts. Out of all of it I have come to the conclusion that I am the one who controls my thoughts, my feelings, my actions, as well as my reactions. This isn’t earth-shattering stuff but sometimes when we see ourselves in a different light, self-reflection has a funny way of giving you clarity. I now have a business plan for my business. I now know what it is I hope to achieve. And there are big changes coming for me. And the one step I am taking to make my dreams a reality is creating a space of my own in order to do so. So we (my husband and I) are now in the early stages of transforming our garage into a studio. This is absolutely a scary thing for me. Why? Because I know what I’m going to have to do in my business in order to see this through. I’m going to have to get comfortable with getting uncomfortable, because risk is necessary in life in order to fail and grow. It’s really hard to put yourself out there with the potential of being rejected. It’s like dating in life….I have to learn to start dating again, but with people in other businesses, with potential clients, and also with previous clients. I think people think I’m very outgoing but I’m really not. I’m quite shy and reserved if I don’t know you well. So, 2012 will be all about me getting uncomfortable and learning how to better utilize the left side of my brain. I’m a right-brained creative. I’ve had to learn how to flex the left (business) side over the last few months and it’s been exhausting, to say the least. That is what happens when you tackle something head on for the first time. It’s frustrating at first but after a while, with a little time and patience, it become second-nature.
If you are a photographer or are thinking about going into photography as a career, you surely can relate to all of this. However, this was written for my readers, my clients, and potential clients. I apologize if you have felt less than special. I apologize if you felt, for one second, that I did not care. And I apologize for sitting on the fence rather than taking action in my business. Because what I do is for you. It’s not about me. And that is why I got into photography in the first place. I wanted to create for others what I didn’t have for myself. I think I lost sight of that for a while. In my time of self-reflection I have come up with my mission statement in my business, my mantra, so to speak. All decisions I make in my business will be based on this. Here it goes:
I believe all people are worthy of love.
I love showing relationships and strive to express that in my work.
I believe in hand-written notes.
I travel to photograph you, wherever you call home because we all know, there is no place like home.
I value quality over quantity, always.
I look forward to meeting as an acquaintance, but leave as a friend.
Love the slideshow! Great job!
Thank you Shelly!